Is It A Love Story? - Part 5

Neha was lying on her back under the soft whirring of her bedroom fan all alone, thinking. Were they doing the correct thing? Was a friendly bet turning out to be more than just fun? It seemed so, when she looked into Payal's eyes. No-one thought it was possible a month back when they had their first ragging experience. The snobby senior girl who taunted Payal's simple looks and plaited hair.

"Here is the latest guy repellant." She had said, those words still hurting like hell.

"You don't need looks to get a good guy." Payal had replied curtly. "I can get a much better person than you can even dream of, someone who would be mine because of what I am and not because of how I look."

"So you mean I cannot get someone like that flocking around me?"

"Maybe you will, but mostly it would be just people who would not think beyond your body."

"You are one arrogant bitch, you know that? Fine, you find one such guy and I'll have my head shaved off. How 'bout that?"

"In that case, you'd better take an appointment in the parlor" 

These were the last words uttered by Payal before she stormed out pulling Neha along with her.

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"This Vidya seems to be one heck of a confused girl to me. But what are you so upset about?" Payal asked.

"You won't understand. Vidya has always been there for me whenever I needed her. Through my ups and downs in life. And this time, though I really want to help her, I can't. That's quite depressing."

"Maybe I won't. But if you have called me in this cafe just to worry about some Vidya's problems, then I have better things to do."

"So it does not affect you at all if some girl is so serious about me that she has rejected one of her closest friend's proposal?" Amit asked, his eyes voicing his feelings.

"What I am more interested in is, why are you not serious about her? If she has been so close to you, been there for you always, then why not go for it?"

"I have my reasons."

"And I would love to hear them."

Where was this leading? Amit was all confused. Would she understand if he told her the reason? Taking a deep breath he said,

"There is somebody I feel for strongly, and that's not Vidya."

"Woah woah woah. So now this is going into an endless loop. Ravi loves Vidya, Vidya loves Amit and now Amit loves somebody else. Sounds more like the story of some Hindi movie to me."

Ask me who it is. Ask me damn it. C'mon Payal, ask me.

"Maybe. But it's far from enjoyable."

"You know what, I would love to meet Vidya. She seems interesting though confused."

"We'll see if we can. She doesn't really hang out with anybody other than me or Ravi."

"Sure, now let's get out of here. Its becoming quite stuffy inside. Let's go for a walk around the campus. It's a beautiful evening, why ruin it in here."

Amit paid the bill and off they went. That late August evening was actually beautiful. The onset of the monsoons had the trees smiling a deep shade of green. Up in the sky, they could see various birds flying in different formations as if to celebrate the cool air. The scent of the soil was still fresh and the cool breeze just made it more pleasant.

They walked in silence along the long lanes of MNNIT campus. There were curious glances from the students hanging out on the stairs of the MP Hall, the teachers going out for their evening walks, the students playing basketball. Though it made him feel very uncomfortable, Amit decided to ignore them. He knew he would become the hot topic of discussions int the hostels, but being with Payal compensated for all that.

As they were walking, they reached the quiet lanes near the SMS building. Suddenly Payal stopped.

"I didn't ask you this earlier as I thought you might feel uncomfortable. But can I know who is the reason behind you refusing Vidya?"

Amit looked into her eyes. They yearned for an answer. An answer he wasn't very sure would yield the desired results for him.

"Payal, I really don't want to talk about it."

"But I do. Come out with it once and for all."

Slowly she slid her hand into his, entangling their fingers. Amit's brain was stoned. He could not think. He could feel the blood pumping hard in his body as she gripped his hand tighter and pulled him closer. It was drizzling, but he could not feel the drops. The world around him was suddenly out of focus and he could see only those hungry eyes. As if magnetised, he felt his face going closer to hers until there was just a tiny gap between them.

"Why can't you just muster up some courage and say it?" Payal asked him, her face just a few centimeters away from his.

"I don't know, my brain is all dizzy right now."

"I think I can cure that...."

Saying this, she closed her lips on his, even as the drizzle turned into a downpour.

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Is It A Love Story? - Part 6

The door burst open and Payal rushed inside and collapsed on the bed. Though a little unnerved at first, it took just one glance for Neha to understand what had happened with her best friend.

"God help me now." Payal said.

"Why are you bothering poor God? Let's see how we can help you. Let Him help the other praying people of the world." replied Neha.

"I don't know what came over me, Neha. Damn, it was all too sudden, I just could not get hold of myself or control myself from going with the flow."

"But you did enjoy it you naughty girl. Come out with the details, I'm waiting."

"It wasn't like I intended to smooch him or anything. Just that the evening was nice and I suggested that we go for a walk around the campus. It was raining slightly and then I asked him a question to which he just looked at me, not answering. Somehow, as if programmed my hand slid into his and it was a different world altogether. Nothing seemed to matter, and in a timeless fashion, it all happened. Totally out of control. What the hell was I thinking? I haven't even known him for a week yet and I went ahead and locked lips with him."

"Huh, so much for just a simple kiss. I thought you went all the way through. What's wrong with you girl?"

Payal threw a pillow at Neha's face which was deftly caught.

"So do you think he is head over heels in love with you?"

"It seems so. The way he looked into my eyes said all that his tongue could not."

"And what about you? Is this still a bet for you or....?"

"I think the bet is the last thing on my mind right now. I don't care what that haughty bitch thinks of me or herself. I need to unravel a mystery before I jump into this deep well, and for that I need your help."

"Always ready to do anything for you babes." said Neha. "Just spit it out."

"There is this girl Vidya from his batch and a particular Ravi. Both of them are supposedly Amit's best friends. I want to know more about them, Vidya in particular. Can you use your contacts in the college for me?"

"Sure shot. I'll let you know as soon as I get some information. Till then, I would love to hear some more description of your first kiss."

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"What do you expect me to explain Amit and how?" Vidya said in exasperation.

"Vidya, do you realise that this could break our friendship? All three of us are friends for heaven's sake. These things would destroy all those wonderful things all three of us have shared over the past years. And you know that I can't live without you both."

"Why would you bother with us now? Ravi is practically mum about everything and you now have other interests to look forward to."

"What do you mean?" asked Amit.

"I saw you Amit. I saw everything with my very own eyes. I was right near the SMS building when it all happened."

"You were following me?"

"No, I just wanted to know what you were up to."

"Is there any difference? Vidya, what's wrong with you? Why are you bent on breaking our friendship?"

"When did I ever say anything about breaking our friendship? You are the one suggesting that we break it. I just wanted to take it to the next level, thats all."

"So did Ravi. I am just saying that you forget all that has happened and we can be as we were a few days back."

"Do you really think that now things are going to be 'normal' ? Or have you been brainwashed by that muse of yours."

"She has got a name, and don't bring her into this debate unnecessarily."

"I am not bringing her into the debate, she is coming herself." Vidya said, pointing behind him.

Amit turned around to see Payal approaching them from a distance.

"Now Mr. Romeo would have to tend to his Juliet. Vidya'd better leave." said Vidya and got up to leave.

"Vidya, please sit down now. She isn't bad at all. I want you to meet her. Can't you just give her a chance?"

"Sorry, but I have better things to do. And another thing. I hope you realise that I can NEVER be with you when there is another person other than Ravi around. I don't like it, and neither should you. I hope you realise your priorities soon. You are totally messed up Amit."

Saying this Vidya disappeared from the cafe. Soon enough Payal entered and sat opposite Amit.

"What were you up to just now?" she asked.

"Forget it, after the conversation with Vidya I'm not really in a mood to discuss anything." he replied.

"Oh, she was here? Where did she go? I would have loved to meet her."

"Well, I told her the same thing. But she wouldn't listen and left seconds before you arrived."

"Wow, she must be pretty fast as I didn't see her leave."

Just then, Payal's phone rang. It was Neha on the other end.

"Hi Neha. Any news for me?" Payal asked her.

"Yes, and the news isn't so good." Neha said on the other end.

"What is it?" Payal asked and got up and moved away from Amit, lest he found anything suspicious.

"I asked around a lot, practically everybody that I know among our batch and our seniors. And everybody had the same reply."

"And what was that reply?"

"Payal, there is nobody called Vidya or Ravi here. Forget Amit's batch. There is no Vidya or Ravi in the entire institute."

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Is It A Love Story? - Part 7

He was running as fast as his tiny feet could carry him, tears rolling down his cheek. A couple of pebbles were thrown in his direction which hit him on his back, but not hard enough to hurt him. The other children were roaring with laughter behind his back.

"Coward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he heard someone yell.

"What a girl, look at him run holding his skirt." another voice said.

Amit did not look behind. He just wanted to run away from everybody. They think he is a coward? Let them. They think he is not manly enough? Let them. When he grows up, he'll show all of them what he is made of. He would be a bigger man than they would ever have dreamt of. But till then, he had to get away. Away from all the teasing, bullying that he had been experiencing ever since he made friends with them. He knew he was physically weak, but one day he would show them brain always prevails over brawn. As of now he just wanted his mother.

"Amit, wait!" a voice shouted behind him. Without stopping he turned around to see tiny Vidya in her usual pink frock trying to keep pace with him. He was so full of anger that he didn't bother to wait. He couldn't wait. His head was boiling with anger, eyes sore with crying and all he wanted was his mother's arms. He continued running out of the park and across the street into the compound of his home. Just as he opened the gate, there was a loud screech behind him followed by a shrill scream. He turned around to see a mass of pink drenched in red lying in front of the car which couldn't stop in time. Everything suddenly seemed to move slowly as the crowd gathered and Amit was frozen at the porch.

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Amit woke up his face dripping with sweat. It was still dark outside. He checked the time to see that it was just 3:20 a.m. He took a sip of water into his parched mouth and laid back on his bed thinking about the dream he just had. The very same dream that had been haunting him ever since the incident happened when he was a seven-year old kid running away from his bully friends. Vidya was his only friend back then but she did not survive that accident. As a toddler, it was one Vidya who came to his aid when he needed a friend, and now at another turning point in his life, another Vidya had become close to him. Too much to be a mere coincidence. Maybe this was the way God played his games.

He pulled the rug to cover his shoulders and thought about his last conversation with her.

"I hope you realise your priorities soon. You are totally messed up Amit." These were her last words before leaving him. It was a clear message that he could either have the one person who had been his friend and stood by him throughout or the one girl who had stolen his heart, his mind, his life. Why did he have to make a choice, damn it! Why can't he have both, a friend as well as a partner. He new life was all about choices, but never thought he would be at such a juncture where whichever choice he makes, ultimately he would lose a part of himself.

He then pulled the rug over his head and closed his eyes in a vain attempt to catch some slumber which had long gone.

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S-C-H-I-Z-O-P-H-R-E-N-I-A

Payal typed on Google. She had to know about it. Was it really a mental illness that Amit was suffering from, or rather, was she in love with a lunatic? Could it be cured? If yes, How?

A million questions had crossed her mind ever since she discovered that Amit's closest friends were actually imaginary. Why did he have non-existent friends? How come nobody realised what was wrong?

".....a mental disorder characterized by a disintegration of the process of thinking and of emotional responsiveness. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction. The onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood......."

The computer screen displayed.

"I really don't know what to do, Neha." she told her roomie who was sitting next to her reading the information on the computer screen.

"Do you really think that you are in a position to do anything?" Neha asked. "Get a grip over yourself Payal. This is a psychiatric case, and you are no doctor. I feel its better you let it go, the earlier the better."

Payal sighed. Maybe Neha was correct. But should she give up without a try? Maybe she would, but first she needed to know more about his condition and she continued browsing the hundreds of web pages that google had thrown back to her.

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Is It A Love Story? - Part 8

They were walking, hand in hand, a cool pleasant breeze blowing nicely. Both of them did not utter a word. While Amit was lost in the romantic aura of the evening, Payal's mind was busy contemplating her future action.

"About this Vidya...." she started.

"Do we really need to talk about this right now?" 

"I think we should. Amit, there is something that I think you should know."

"Are you confessing something to me?"

"Yes, I am. But it's not about me. It's about you. There is a thing that you don't know about yourself, and I think you should be aware of the facts and reality."

Now what the hell was that all about? Amit wondered. Who knew him better than himself?

Payal continued.

"Your mind is right now suspended between imagination and reality. People around you, the ones that you think are around you, some of them don't exist."

"Please don't talk in circles. Come to the point."

"Amit, your two closest friends, Ravi and Vidya, they don't exist!" she blurted.

"What do you mean they don't exist? Just because we are in a relationship, I won't have you speak like that about my friends to me."

"Amit try to understand what I am saying. Ravi and Vidya exist, but only in your mind. In reality they don't. You have a problem and we need to solve it."

"Payal, what is this all about? You are telling me that the last three years was a figment of my imagination? That all the times I had with my best friends never really happened? Are trying to say that I'm bloody crazy?"

"I am not calling you crazy Amit. It's a psychological problem, and there is treatment available. I just want to help you."

"Telling me that I am imagining people sure helps, sweetheart. But in case you wanted to break-up with me, there are much better and healthier ways than calling me a psychopath. Vidya was right, I had my priorities mixed up."

"Amit, don't do this to me. I do love you, I really do, inspite of everything. I just want to make you see the reality."

"Make me see it then, because right now I feel blinded."

"I'll try. Why do you think Vidya and Ravi are never seen with anybody else other than you?"

"Because we are the best of friends. And both of them are introvert."

"That is fine, but why would they disappear every time that you are in somebody else's company? Have you ever heard anybody else talk about them? Have you talked about them with anybody other than me, ever?"

"No I haven't. Because if I do, everybody says I'm crazy. They may not be the best looking in the world, but they still are my friends, and I would do anything for them. Others don't like them, I do. Nobody talks or befriends me, they do. And you say they don't exist?"

"Exactly what I mean. Can't you see? No other person can see or hear them other than you. That's because they are present only in your mind. You are not crazy Amit. The condition is called Schizophrenia. And it can happen to anybody. I am here to help you."

Amit pushed her hand away.

"You are a real bitch, you know that? You get me emotionally involved with you, and now you are trying to convince me that my friends don't exist, that I am bloody schizophrenic. Tell you what. I am really messed up right now. I need to go and be alone for some time. And if you can, I would be grateful if you don't go around telling every Tom, Dick and Harry that Amit is crazy."

He walked away. Payal stood frozen. A couple of tears rolled down her cheek. Was this the beginning of the end?

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"Just leave it dude. You've still got us." Ravi said, putting his hand on Amit's shoulder.

"It just ain't fair. Why do I need to choose between my friends and my love? Why me?"

Amit looked out at the horizon. He was sitting with Ravi and Vidya on the white sand of the Ganga river which flowed right next to the campus.

"You see this sand, Amit?" Vidya said. "The harder you try to grab it, the faster it slips away. Its better that she dumped you sooner rather than later before things got more serious. And as Ravi said, we are still there with you."

"She didn't dump me Vidya, not yet. That girl loves me, I know that for sure. The problem is choosing between two parts of myself and I don't know what to do!"

"So you still want to go to her at the first chance you have?" Vidya exclaimed. "What the hell man! It has been us who have been with you when you were all alone. We came to your rescue when everybody else was only concerned about bullying you. We gave you the best moments of your life. And you are thinking of leaving us for one girl who just entered your life a couple of weeks ago and gave you your first kiss? Now, is that what you call fair?"

"Damn it Vidya! You just don't get it do you. I want both, my friends, as well as her. My friends won't have her, and she thinks my friends don't exist. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do?"

"I think I know what we can do right now." said Ravi. "Just forget everything for a moment. Be at peace, feel as if nothing happened. Damn, I really feel like going into that water. Anybody game for a splash?"

"I sure am." smiled Vidya.

"Dude, you know I can't swim, and on top of that I really am not in a mood for fun."

"You don't require a mood for fun. Enjoy the fun, and your mood will improve automatically. C'mon now, don't be a spoilsport."

Amit got up and walked with them into the water. The water was cool and surprisingly clear. They kept walking ahead. The water reached upto his thighs.

"Guys I think this much deep is enough." Amit said.

"Hey, you unsure of your height? Come along man, it's just upto my waist here."

Amit walked towards Ravi. The water was rising steadily. It seemed as if it was till Ravi's waist. But here, it was rising now above Amit's belly. He stopped and closed his eyes.

He felt at peace. Maybe people were actually right about the holiness of this river. His mind was relaxed. There were strong undercurrents in the tide, but he didn't care. He wanted to feel like this forever. He felt his feet lose the touch of the river bed. He felt light. Why did he have to make any decisions to reach his destiny after all? The river was taking him there with it. 

"So you think we don't exist?" he heard Vidya say.

"No, I don't." he tried saying. But the words never left his mouth.

****THE END****

This story evolved over the whole period of writing. It began as an experiment in writing a romantic tale, but I could not help bringing in the dark psychological element in it in the second half. Also initially I wanted to have the characters describe the story instead of a third person narrative, but then I could not manage to do that from chapter 3, so there is an abrupt switch to a third person narrative. I did not rewrite the first two chapters since I did not want to tamper with the sincere attempt at doing something new and different. Afterall it is an experiment, and experiments tend to be weird . ;)